Ever since my father died in Feb, 2025, mortality has been constantly on my mind. I remember telling my brother: Dad is gone, next it will be mom, then all of us, one by one. He nodded quietly.
All the things I own, will no longer be cared for by me, in the way I care for them. I kept imagining scenarios of my current surroundings after my death. Wondering how and when I would die.
In my youth I had been a care taker to people in my extended family; such as the grandmother in my marital home, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law and watched over them in their final declining years.
Most of it was sad stories of debilitation and pain. Now my mother has twisted her back bone and is experiencing constant pain, while being unable to move. Surrounded by love and care, she is however, unable to do anything on her own, inspite of having a radical, happening life.
Some one becomes no one. That is death. my sister says that in her current stage my mother has already become nothing like her older self. Then again I realized something.
Life is everything that you do before you beome nothing.
This line of thinking has helped me reconcile to my own story. I can keep at it, till the very end. Till the last second.
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