The Question re-emerges: Magic or Logic?

 Logical scientist claim that the secret to a happy life is buiding relationships. So, I decided to try that. Whenever I have to go out of the way to help anyone who seeks it of me, I tell myself - You are building your community, your people. This person is now going to be your person. 

(Now I need to cajole myself so much because helping others is not really my thing.) 

So now that I am more helpful and reaching out to others and all that, I am hopeful of being not too eccentric in my approaching old age. 

But this morning, someone I simply love and adore called me at five thirty in the morning. I was so energized by this short 15 minute call. It was magical.

What is all this relationship building and socializing really, when compared to the magic of spontaneous bonds that we never ever logically strove or never even attempted to create? 

I am a coward now

 Obviously, this post has no magic or logic. 

It is about the cowardice I experience when I watch a movie or a series. 'Gore' pops up on the top left corner of the screen, and I instantly close that work of art and look for something else to watch. 

I also find most fashionably edgy series distressing. It is no longer thrilling to watch fictional heroes and heroines face hurdles and withstand the pressure of dealing with the consequences of their stupidity or bad luck. In fact, so burnt out am I from living through the situation I have made out of my life, that even minor troubles in family dramas make me anxious. 

For instance, in a slow paced, picaresque novel style romcom, I started stressing out when a stranger  helps out the lady lead by offering to hold her suitcase. I am now sure that he is going to steal the suitcase. Pretty sure and that this is going to mess up the image of the decent girl with a decent job and a decent image. My feminist fears were that she would look lesser than the hero, who is weird, as men are wont to be.

So I only watch K Drama. Especially the older ones in which nothing much happens except for people walking and talking and eating and drinking. Even this genre has now evolved and tries to replicate the scary, violent side of life and I decided to give up on it as well and started to write this blog.

Enough. I have given ample proof to being in a disgustingly cowardly stage of my life.