These are magical days

My school teachers were convinced that I was an excellent writer. I won prizes in story telling, essay writing and was always a topper in language tests. Teachers in college sometimes pinned my answer sheets on a board for other students to read.
I was sure that I would be a great writer one day. But a couple of attempts to get published did not work, and I stopped trying. Once a reporter friend of a friend, who saw some lovelorn poetry of mine in my diary tore the pages ou,t and had them published in the Times of India. She said readers wrote appreciative letters.

As luck would have it, I got the opportunity to write reports on classical music performances for a reputed newspaper. There at the concerts, I was amazed to see how some people, who were knowledgeable about the intricacies of notes and variations, became stiff if I asked them to help me out, when I was unable to attend a concert. They were connoisseurs of music, who knew when a certain piece had first been played, who popularized it, how it has undergone subtle changes over the years, and many such gems of information that would have added weight to my article. But when you asked them to tell you about it for the newspaper they would freeze and say inane things in a rigid manner. And I became popular in that small circle of music lovers as a writer, although I was not thoroughly knowledgeable about it as I should ideally be.

Now comes the part when I have decided to write for money. For the first time in my life I have started getting loads of negative feedback. Some magazines found my writing to be too simple. Some felt my style did not suit their blog. And today, a student of mine, for whose blog I wrote something said that the essay I sent her had 'too many grammar mistakes' and 'language problems'.. Every day is new and inspiring, it seems.

Illogical Insomnia

Illogical insomnia

I used to worry about not being able to sleep much, till I read the story of this guy, who was crouching on a spot witnessing an air raid, watching bombs being tossed all around him, all through the night. The next day onwards he stopped sleeping. The fascinating part of the story however, is that he used his working hours so well that he got innumerable degrees, carried on several businesses and became very rich.

Unable to sleep, I thought......... let me type something on my blog. May be one thing will lead to another and then I can also do stuff like the above mentioned guy did, and make a mark.

When the magic goes POOF

These are difficult times.

Life abounds in luxury, and luxury can be bought. Everyone dreams of such luxury, and therefore long for the money to buy luxury. A man works hard, creatively, frenetically and carefully to accrue money, and no sooner does he taste success, and earns money, than he is instantly surrounded by sellers of short trips to heaven: the drug pushers.

All the rich, particularly the artistic, use a lot of drugs. Our icons! The shadows of whom, captured in film reels in multi colour, we so love to love.

It looks like the human potential never had so much opportunity to reach its full potential and also never destroyed itself as much as it does today, mindless of reaching that potential. Therefore man loses himself before he becomes the best version of himself.

The main reason is that our vision is blocked by luxury, and the childish longing to be high and happy always.

Looks like we just take trips inwards constantly indulging ourselves and never get to rise as high as we should. What could be so awesome about drugs that, the million pleasures of life are forgotten? 

The logic of remembering failures

Forget your failures...move on. This is not just advice I dish out in counselling sessions, but something I have done instinctively to preserve myself from feeling sad. As an extension of this attitude, for many years I attempted things that were easy, and in which I could make a mark for myself without difficulty. So my resume, especially my presentation of it would look as if I am more successful and fulfilled than my peers, especially those who are making a lot more money than I do.
In my mid forties, I have started thinking about making and saving money. So I have started to attempt all kinds of things, and the silver coat of permanent victory is wearing thin. Facing failure, my logic tells me not to move on but to analyse it; to keep reminding myself of the reasons for failure, and to keep working excellently, because the times I didn't, I failed. I lost not only the opportunity to make money, but the rare occasions wherein I could have worked with the best minds, with achievers who gain greater fulfilment by aspiring high and capturing what they aimed for.

Summer is here

Properly summer now
Sultry, airless, scorching hot summer. As we put it in tamil, "the heat is breaking open our skulls"
But I don't feel like complaining, because in 2013, for the first time in my life I experienced that confusion called COLD SEASON.
As a citizen of a hot city, where people joke about how there are only two seasons in South India: hot and very hot, I got to endure cold in Gurgaon. It was so unpleasant, and I complained so much, (although I lived through it without much damage), that I do not yet feel like complaining about the sun, whose appearance I waited for with great eagerness

.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F27ryBUd6Tg

Is India going to become like many other countries in South East Asia? The new Indian Prime minister is recognized as a Hindu leader. This is definitely a step back from India's secular ideals. We are now more like countries with religious identities, like Malaysia, Afghanistan (Islamic government), and Pakistan and Myanmar (military rule) The unique Indian identity, the Indian experience of tolerating every variant of every religion is in danger.
My worst fears are that this victory is going to harden the narrow minds of the winners and that they would make life difficult for minorities and lower castes. They could do this not just by making decisions that are favourable to the elite upper castes, but also by celebrating and promoting the majority religion, thereby kindling feelings of superiority and inferiority and  widen the gap between the different religions in the country. Unfortunately social inequality will

become greater, I fear.

It rained intermittently in May in 2012; and that turned out to be a dry year. The same thing is happening now in three of the states, which are important to me, where different members of my family live: Tamilnadu, Karnataka and Haryana. These states are far apart and it's raining in all three of them, not on the same days, but on different days in the same week.
As they would put it in the earlier centuries, doubts of cloud darken my brow, when I wonder if the monsoons would fail this year too!!!!